Gosh I get homesick sometimes. Not for my home but for my hometown. I like Reno…I like it better now that I live a bit out of it. Love my house, neighborhood, conveniences. But man when I go home, to visit my parents, I feel how much I miss it. All my friends are there, my family, all the familiarity. I wish so bad I could live there still.
Caleb has been struggling a bit lately. I sometimes think he’s trying to find his place between the two homes. I know it’s got to be a little hard going back and forth every other week. I try to keep things as normal as possible but I know our houses run differently. We have similar but different rules, we tolerate different things, and we have different schedules. So I’m sure adjusting is a little difficult when you’ve been doing something all week. He’s been craving tons of attention lately and going about it in a very annoying manner. I’ve struggled a bit juggling the two kids and I know his dad has two bigger kids at his house so that’s a lot of attention to share when you’ve been the only kid between two parents for a long time. I have set aside a day every week that Caleb can look forward to no matter what that is just me and him. We are going away from our home/neighborhood and doing something just the two of us. I’m really looking forward to it.
Hudson is thriving! He is growing like he should and then some. He is cute as a button! And those cheeks!!!! Unfortunately I have to quit breastfeeding him. Sucks but I have to go to my academy that I didn’t go to when I started my job because I was pregnant. Its three week in Georgia . I wish I didn’t have to go. That’s a long time to be away from my boys, I’m going to miss them like crazy. So I’ve been slowly introducing him to formula to make sure his tummy can handle it and so my boobs don’t pop. He does fine on it thankfully.
Anyway that’s about it for now. Still trying to get out of custody and get an office job. Seems like it will never happen but keeping my fingers crossed.
Homesick
Oh what a night
Here’s a normal night.
8 pm: Hud and I lay down to go to sleep
10 pm: Approximately at this time I lay him in his crib and he wakes up two minutes later to eat.
3 am: Wake up again to eat, goes back to bed.
6 am or so: Wakes up to eat.
7 or 8: Wakes up completely.
Here’s last night.
8 pm: Hud and I lay down to sleep
9 pm: Still awake
10 pm: Wants to eat, makes a mess.
11 pm: Finally lay him in his crib
11:30 pm: Wakes to eat, lay him back down
12:15 am: Wakes up, give him binky
12:25 am: Cries because binky fell out
12:30 am: Cries because binky fell out again.
1:00 am: Wants to eat, makes a bigger mess from fidgeting, lay back down
2:00 am: Wakes up, give him binky, it falls out, I let him cry.
And cry
And cry
2:30 am: Wide awake and not happy
3:00 am: I call into work from getting virtually no sleep
3:30 am: Eats again
4:00 am: Wakes up again, give him binky
Binky keeps falling out.
5:00 am: Wants to eat again
6:00 am: Finally falls asleep
7:00 am: Wakes to eat, lays in bed with me for the next two hours sleeping yet fidgeting and moving and fidgeting and moving
9:00 am: I finally give up and get out of bed.
Oh motherhood!
Sometimes knowledge isn't power
Or good for that matter.
I was working overnights for what, five months. And on overnights there is A LOT of downtime with nothing to do. I got hooked on the website babycenter.com. They had a group board for women due in July. It was neat reading their posts and some of the questions they asked are questions I had.
Now that the baby is here, I have joined the June 2009 birth group.
Again it’s neat to read what other people have to say but I have decided to stay away from the board from here on out. Why? Because there’s too much information. Meaning, the other parents put too much crap in your head. Things like....one lady has a monitor that beeps if your baby stops breathing while sleeping and it HAS went off. Then like 20 other mom’s get on there and talk about how their babies have stopped breathing while sleeping and it’s when they’re in too deep of a sleep they don’t start breathing again and that’s how they die of SIDS. Not cool.
Or how when Caleb was little I breast fed him for a year. I never pumped at work, I just fed him when I got home and on weekends. Never had a second thought about my milk supply and all was fine. Well now with reading these stupid boards and all the moms freaked out about their milk supply, I start thinking about it. If I don’t pump, will I still be able to feed him? What do I do if he likes the bottle better? Do I have enough milk? And these questions are totally stupid because I do pump at work, I do have enough milk so he can have breast milk during the day, he does take a bottle and still nurses and there is no problems.
Do you see what I’m getting at here?
I think I make a much better mother if I don’t read what other mothers have to say. If I have a question I think I’ll stick to asking the pediatrician or a trusted family member. Otherwise, if I continue to read these boards I will develop obsessive compulsive disorder and never sleep again.
This and That
Welp Wednesday is my day back to work. I’ve been working really hard on getting into a routine and he’s cooperating pretty good so far. He loves his Mommy and just wants to help out. Or so I like to think.
I’m nervous to go back. I try really hard not to stress and know that everything will just work out but sometimes it gets the best of me. I’m continuing to breast feed and don’t want him to have formula. This means I’m going to be pumping a lot at work so I have to find times to pump. It’s going to be challenging but it’s important to me.
Caleb was sad I was going back to work. I feel the same way. I’m happy that I will be home from work before he gets out of school so the only time he won’t see me is in the mornings and until 2:30 on the weekends. I have Monday, Tuesday off which isn’t bad. What’s nice is he is out of school the whole month of September so it doesn’t matter what my days off are.
I applied for a job at the Depot. They work 4-10’s so I would have every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off. I’m also applying for an Education Technician position at the prison and there should be a Secretary position opening up soon so I’m applying like crazy. Wish me luck!
Can you believe it’s almost Fall??? I can’t! Where does time go? Soon our long summer days will be shorter and the leaves will start to turn. Although it’s pretty, I’m just not ready. I wish I had a button to slow down time! I have to say my favorite thing about fall is the pumpkin patch though. And think of all the pictures I will be getting this year!!!
What’s your favorite thing?
My big boy
My little big boy slept in his crib for the first time last night. It was the best night of sleep I’ve had since he was born. Why? Because the kid grunts ALL night long. Really…most kids coooo and make sweet sounds…but not Hud. Oh no, he grunts, a lot. It’s so hard to sleep through. So with him being in his room I only heard the crying when it was time to eat.Can you believe he’s already 6 ½ weeks old? I can’t!And the crappy part of him being 6 ½ weeks old?? I have to go back to work next Wednesday. I was supposed to have 12 weeks off but not happening anymore so I’m going back. Sucks big time!Caleb is doing good. He’s been slacking on school though. He has a hard time understanding that homework is more important then playing. I’m thinking all 4th graders have this problem though huh? He also is a ditz…and I say this with love but he is. He forgets his backpack, his homework, whatever you told him three seconds ago. But yet he can remember, in detail, what happened 5 years ago. Crazy kid.
Reason # 4,561 I don't want to go back to work.
I’m totally digging ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ Seriously, they are hilarious to me! And Kim, Kim is gorgeous.
They’ve been playing a marathon of episodes everyday and I’m hooked.
What am I going to do when I go back to work?
Sucks.
Big Boy
My little big boy slept in his crib for the first time last night. It was the best night of sleep I’ve had since he was born. Why? Because the kid grunts ALL night long. Really…most kids coooo and make sweet sounds…but not Hud. Oh no, he grunts, a lot. It’s so hard to sleep through. So with him being in his room I only heard the crying when it was time to eat.
Can you believe he’s already 6 ½ weeks old? I can’t!
And the crappy part of him being 6 ½ weeks old?? I have to go back to work next Wednesday. I was supposed to have 12 weeks off but not happening anymore so I’m going back. Sucks big time!
Caleb is doing good. He’s been slacking on school though. He has a hard time understanding that homework is more important then playing. I’m thinking all 4th graders have this problem though huh? He also is a ditz…and I say this with love but he is. He forgets his backpack, his homework, whatever you told him three seconds ago. But yet he can remember, in detail, what happened 5 years ago. Crazy kid.
Who trained these kids???
I buy this kid all these expensive toys and his favorite is a box. What's up with that??
Hi my name is Hudson and my Mommy made me a nice warm bath tonight which I love. She woke me up and put me in it and I was happy. I was so happy and so comfortable that I pooped right in the water. So Mommy drained the water and cleaned it and put more warm water in and I got so comfortable that I pooped again! I did it three times! Finally Mommy just drained the water and poured water out of the sink on me. I liked sitting in the water better but I guess it’s kind of gross to sit in poop water.
Three Weeks Old
Three weeks has already gone by and it still seems all so new.
He’s become somewhat of a fussy foot here lately. He doesn’t want to spend very much time not being held. His favorite place to sleep is still my chest. I’m trying to get him to spend his sleeping time in cradle. At night he does fine in it although last night he got a little restless, he worked it out and finally put himself back to. He gets crankier in the evening/night and will squirm like crazy and fuss….usually I can swaddle his arms and put the binky in his mouth or nurse him and he’ll calm down and eventually fall asleep. He still sleeps a lot during the day. When he’s awake he’s usually content and happy.
I’ll get it figured out, just might take some time. Caleb was helpful thankfully. Caleb enjoys his little brother. He sings to him when he’s crying and is quick to get his binky for me.
At Hudson’s last doctor’s appointment last Monday he weighed 7 lbs, 4 oz and was 20 inches long. He’s a growing boy. He goes to the doctor again on Tuesday for a shot, poor kid, so we’ll see what he weighs again. Eating every two hours I’m sure puts some weight on him.
I’m doing well. Tired a lot…can’t seem to catch up on sleep. I haven’t got nearly as much done around the house as I wanted to but I’m sure I will. It takes a lot of time out of my day feeding him every two hours but I don’t mind, I like breastfeeding him. I love staying home with both of them. I wish I had the opportunity to stay home longer.
Caleb is doing great in school….only missed two on his first math test. He’s made a couple friends and plays dodgeball at recess. He made a friend around our neighborhood too and plays at the park all the time.
He’s growing up so fast. I noticed the other day he’s actually starting to get some meat on his bones…not fat, but meat. He’s always been skin and bones. Perhaps eating the way he ate last night helps. He plopped a scoop of mashed potatoes on his plate, put a scoop of corn on top, then his cut up steak and gravy then topped it off with some catsup and stirred it. Yuck! But he loved it and that’s what matters right. Told me I must have got it from a five star restaurant….if only. I hope he’s always so easy to please.
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